Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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