mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
should my penis look like a turkey
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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