Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize