omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
