The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
