shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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