What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
