i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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