Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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