I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
