what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
