i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
