Already got asked if we're dating
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
