Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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