I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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