Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
