He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
