Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
