I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
