I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My balls are so social today.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize