zippers are such a cool invention
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
