Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
