forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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