We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
