Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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