Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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