i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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