I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize