ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
