She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
