my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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