Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
