I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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