We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
