cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
