drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
