There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
