Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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