So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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