Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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