Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
