My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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