Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
