The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize