Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
