tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
