Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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