It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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