oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
