Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
