You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
