Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
