It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
