All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize