In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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