also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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