My nipple is on Facebook.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
