ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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