she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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