The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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