Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
