What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
