I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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