Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
