i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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