Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
