I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
