I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
