we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
