The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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