It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
