She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
