You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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