don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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