Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His nipple licking is glorious
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