Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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