is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
