she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
