i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
