Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
