Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Someone signed my nipple.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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