i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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