Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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